STEP 4: PERFORM

At least some of the differences we see between people are the result of stereotypes. Collectively, we bring stereotypes to life by acting in ways that are consistent with them. None of us perfectly conforms to the stereotypes that apply to us, and many of us feel uncomfortable about conforming, but we all perform our identities at least somewhat. That is, we behave in ways that are consistent with the expectations other people have for members of our social groups. This is described as doing identity, or the active performance of social identities.

To elaborate this idea, let’s consider age. The sociologist Cheryl Laz wrote that it “seems almost absurd to think about age as anything but a chronological fact and as something every individual simply is.” 29 Age, though, is also something we do. There are right ways to be twenty, fifty, or eighty, and we have a specific language with which we admonish people who do their age wrong. Laz explained:

“Act your age. Stop being so childish,” we say to other adults we think are being irresponsible. “Act your age; you’re not as young as you used to be,” we say to an old person pursuing “youthful” activities. The sanctioned actions vary, but the command “act!” remains the same. When we say “act your age” we press for behavior that conforms to norms. 30

The social construction of age is part of why the internet found such delight in the modeling of Liu Xianping. 31 At seventy-two years old, Liu began modeling for his granddaughter’s boutique, which catered to teen girls. Liu dressed in women’s clothes, and specifically in clothes for very young women. He was playing with the performance of both gender and age. The result was a set of delightfully unusual fashion photographs.

The doing of age extends to our appearance, our behavior, and how we spend our time and with whom. When we encounter a person, for example, we look at their face and body to determine how old they are, but we also look at other visual cues too: clothing, hair, makeup, accessories. There’s a certain phase of life, for example, in which it’s considered socially acceptable to wear a mini-skirt, and it has both a beginning and an end. Likewise, thirty-five-year-old women who dye their hair to hide their gray may be praised for “keeping themselves up,” while sixty-five-year-olds who do so might be criticized as “trying too hard.” Middle-aged moms are supposed to have minivans, while middle-aged men are allowed to splurge on a sports car.

Our behavior is expected to change with age too. Eight-year-olds and eighty-year-olds are not supposed to talk explicitly about sex. We’re surprised when grandmothers curse and unsurprised when elderly uncles express out-of-date opinions. There’s a certain age range when it’s acceptable to go out and get irresponsibly drunk several nights each week. But the almost-forty binge drinker might be scolded: “You’re not as young as you used to be” and “Don’t you think it’s time to settle down?”

“Settling down” is a reference to the fact that, as we get older, we are expected to fulfill specific roles in a predictable sequence, like spouse, homeowner, parent and, finally, grandparent. That’s why we say things like “they married young” or “he retired late” and why we have labels for people who do things late, early, out of order, or never: “nontraditional student,” “teenage mother,” “single dad,” “spinster.”

The fact that we have such sayings in our language reveals that age isn’t natural. If it was, we wouldn’t have the opportunity to be surprised when ninety-year-olds curse, because they wouldn’t. Likewise, if it was natural to go gray at sixty-five—but not one day before—no one would buy dye to hide their gray. And if it was natural for women to have their first child at thirty, we wouldn’t have to instruct them to be abstinent or use birth control before then. Aging is natural, but age is socially constructed. It’s an identity that’s divvied up into sequential life stages onto which stereotypes are heaped.

Aging is also stigmatized. Americans generally consider it better to be young than old. Hence the “over the hill” parties. This is true for sexual orientation, gender, and race and ethnicity too. Some identity subcategories are accorded greater esteem than others. This hierarchy building is the topic of the next section.

Glossary

doing identity the active performance of social identities

Endnotes